I Have A Plan!

Or at least I hope I do. I'm sure my plan won't be as inspirational as Martin Luther King's famous speech or as devious as some cartoon criminal. That title has been rolling around in my head for the past two days and it always makes me think of those two things, which is kind of funny considering they are almost polar opposites. Anyway, enough of my lame attempt at wit and on to the PLAN.

Thursday I was being lazy (as usual) and decided to look up the requirements of the Graduate program I am looking into. I have been thinking about going back for a few weeks now but I was silly and never looked to make sure I could even get into such a program. One of the requirements is 18 units of non-freshman English. I figured I wouldn't have a problem with that but I checked on my transcripts just to make sure. Wouldn't you know I miss that requirement by 3 little units, one measly little class. Now I'm sure I could still get into the program because there are a couple of competency courses that I need to take. However, school is supposed to start in about a week and a half. That's all a bit quick to get everything done to start by then.

So rather than stress myself out I had a great idea. I went online and found myself a Beginning Fiction Writing class. It sounds like fun, it would give me those 3 little units and the best thing of all? It's online. Perfect. So I immediately applied for the community college and am awaiting their approval so I can register for the class. The amazing thing about all this? I didn't talk to J.R. to see what he thought. I didn't call my mom to get her advice. I didn't hem and haw about it and over analyze it. I just went for it. So very unlike me.

At this point the plan was to take this one class and use this semester to prepare for starting school in the spring. It just felt like things were clicking into place. Yes, I still don't have a job but at least I have some semblance of a plan. Then I called my mom and told her of my wonderful plan. She was happy about it and thought it was a great idea. A few minutes later she called me back after talking to her boss/friend, D. D had the most wonderful idea and I truly believe it may have been from God. She told my mom that I should look into getting a job at the school I'm hoping to attend.

I initially was a little hesitant. I had already looked at possible jobs at this school and really hadn't found anything. However, I think I may have been so focused on teaching and hadn't quite let that idea go and I completely missed a great job. The job is an enrollment advisor. I can't even been to express how excited I am about this job. When I was doing my undergrad work, I worked in the Registrar's Office at my school. I loved my job there. It was probably my favorite job, aside from teaching. So when I saw this job it seemed like a perfect fit. I would still be able to work with students, but this time college students. Teaching college has been a goal of mine before I even began teaching my first day. I realize this isn't really teaching college but I will be working with students. All those thoughts of somehow losing part of my identity because I'm not teaching flew out the window with the prospect of this job.

I am really so very excited about the prospect of this job. Another added bonus is that I may be able to go to school there for FREE if I get this job. I wasn't too sure about this when I heard it, but I have a friend that works there and according to some she has said she and her family can attend for free. How amazing is that? It just feels like things are finally clicking into place and its a very exciting time not just in my life but also in the lives of my entire family. I had been dragging my feet getting my resume done. I really felt daunted by the task of finding a new job. So I was taking my sweet time. When I found out about this position I immediately finished up my resume and applied as quickly as I could.

I don't know how everything will work out. I don't even know 100% if this is what God has for me. But something in me tells me this is it. My excitement alone and the fact that things just seem to be clicking into place seem to serve as evidence. So here's hoping that this is what path and plan I'm supposed to take. I sure hope it is. And honestly even if it's not I'll be ok. As long as I am in God's plan for my life I know I'll be fine. It just feels good to finally feel like I have some sort of direction.

Back to School?

Today J.R. and I were walking through the store and we passed the back to school section. As much as I love all those fresh new school supplies and as much as I must look through them every.single.time, I am saddened this year. Saddened because it looks more and more like I will not be teaching this year. I am at a loss of what to do with myself. I feel lost. As we were looking at all the wonderful school supplies, I told J.R. I wanted to go back to school. He said, "well then go." I stopped and said, "no I'm serious, I really want to go back to school." He said, "I know you do so just go." Just like that? I was a bit at a loss at that point. I told him it would mean taking on a lot of loan money. He said, "so what, just go."

I've been talking about going for a long time. But it was always "someday." Now that "someday" may possibly be here, I'm a little nervous and scared. I definitely don't feel comfortable making such a life altering decision so quickly. I have to many questions, some understandable, others completely irrational. How can we afford this? Do we really need to go further into debt for this? What will I do for a job? (Well, that's a question irregardless.) Can I actually do this?

The thing is I'm scared of going back. I realize this is an irrational fear but it is a fear nonetheless. So it seems I am at a crossroads at the moment. The biggest question of all here is whether or not this is God's will and timing. I am excited and scared all at the same time.